What is a friend?

Unfortunately... today was a very uneventful day... So... Unlike my normal blag posts... Today is going to be about random thoughts that have been bugging me lately... Oh yeah... This is a random topic day because when I am bored, it often leads me to think about random things.

Just moments ago, I was in the showers thinking about the things that have been happening to my life this summer. This summer was filled with experiences that will change my life, forever... I got a job in my field of studies. I got to experience many recreational sports which I will continue to do. I got to go out with friends which I will pursue to do. But one thing that will change forever... is that I have lost a close friend. (No... my friend is not dead... or at least not since our last argument... I dunno... haven't talked to them in a while).

To me, friends are very precious people. They are the embodiment of the memories you have experienced in your life. Throughout my childhood, keeping in touch with friends was a very difficult thing for me to do. I was never the type to come out and speak to people. I was a shy person. I was afraid of what people would do when I spoke to them. I found myself very uninteresting, never having anything eventful or interesting to talk about. I lacked the self-confidence and self-esteem to do things. It was very hard for me to make friends or keep in contact with them.

In elementary school, I thought I had many friends, but when I continued onto Middle School, I slowly lost contact with the people I grew up with. And from the transition from Middle School to High School, I lost touch with those around again. And from the transition from High School to College, everything seemed to fade. I was only able to keep in touch with a handful of people. Only through internet communities could I keep in touch with some friends. However, this only provided a relationship that was as thin as spider's silk. The communication was really not much more than a "hi" and a "bye". After all this time, it came to my understanding that there are only a few close friends that I really had. The rest seems to be in the background, waiting for a time to say a "hi" and a "bye".

To me, friends are very precious because of the journeys you embark on together. Joy, Anger, Sadness and Surprise are all different experiences that a friend undergoes with you. You share moments that will stay as a part of your memory forever. They can be happy or they can be sad. They will always be memories that will stay with you, til you die or til you somehow lose your memories.

It is this mere fact of friends being so precious, that I have been greatly distressed when I lost a close friend. Holding friends so precious, I dared not to think of severing ties with them. However, this close friend of mine, severed it... telling me that I can no longer be their friend, and never to communicate with them. It does not anger me that they did this act of severing ties. On the contrary, it disappoints me greatly. Such hope that you would have in someone... Shattered... And with this severing, I lost a part of myself, the memories of this summer with this friend will forever be a tainted memory that will slowly be forgotten. The lost of memories are painful. They will linger in your mind, hoping for you to grasp it once again. But the harder you try to reach for them, the more pain you will experience. And now, my memories are slowly fading as my exhausted mind sits unable to do anything, but watch them disappear into the darkness.

Friends are those who light the way you when you fall into darkness. Friends are those who provide shade from the blinding brightness. Friends are those who will make you remember your past and your very existence. Friends are those who put a smile on your face (quite literally with a red marker). Friends are those who will be there. Always...